I have pretty much come full circle with my life since moving to New York a year ago. I’ve made five new cosplays, traveled to six different states for conventions, been a participant in the country’s largest cosplay contest, and ran Need Input four times. On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve battled terrible homesickness, struggled to maintain PMDD, and my relationship with my fiance finally fell apart after 4.5 years. I find myself with the year coming to an end as both a winner and a loser.
Well, no, not a loser. I’m just being hard on myself. My own greatest weakness. I’ve never felt like a loser in the past year. Even standing up on the stage at Crown Cosplay Championships as they announced the winners of my category, I didn’t feel like a loser. Quite the contrary – two other competitors in my category also had skepticism about being able to win. The three of us all agreed that even if we lost, we would stand firm as Team Snowflake and that nothing could even crush our dreams. When Big Daddy was announces as Video Games Category 1st place, the three of us all cheered, “Yay! Team Snowflake!”. It was obvious that many people in the front row of the audience had heard us, and they had no idea what was going on. We were more stoke than anyone one else when we learned that we all still got this large swag bags with tons of awesome nerdy stuff inside. It still felt like winning.
As far as the year ha gone, New York has been a unique experience that I think any creative person can benefit from. It lights a fire under your ass. It will make you pursue your dreams, conquer your fears and you will learn more about yourself, more than you ever thought possible. I have been so productive this year in terms of cosplay, and I have been able to discover what I really want to do career-wise while living here. I know I’m never going to be a big professional cosplayer, probably not an ambassador for the craft, but I’d like to think I’m a good representative for the idea of cosplay. I believe in what this craft can do for you, and I’ve just come to terms that I’m not going to make a living off this, and I’m ok with that. I have found my true calling…beer.
With my cosplay season over for the year, I am going to spend the month of December working on new cosplays for my upcoming season, which actually starts in Janaury this year x_x I was invited by Wizard World to present my panel at another convention, and I picked Portland since it means I get to go home! With the ending of my engagement and no real reason for me to stay in New York, I am going to being moving back in March. I’ll spend some time while I’m back in Portland in January networking with Whole Foods locations in the Portland area so I can try to secure a job before I move back in March. Just to give them my resume and put a name to a face. The month of December is also dedicated to earning my Certified Beer Server, which will just make me more marketable as I transfer back to Portland.
I regret nothing over the past year. Eh, I’ve lost some and won a lot in exchange. Leaving New York will be hard. I’m leaving behind an ex, a great team of workers at the Whole Foods I helped open and all the footsteps I’ve taken all over this filthy city. At least I’ve done it. Moving back to Portland doesn’t feel like failure. I have never felt like I belong in New York, and I fucking love Portland. It’s an ok place to be. I miss my old fabric stores too. I like being able to go one place and buy everything at once. I will miss the garment district, but I get the feeling most of the things I have been buying here, I can get them online. Ah, the glory of the internets.
Speaking of internets…When my relationship finally ended, like, I knew it was over, the first thing I did was crack open a beer and get onto Battlenet. I worked with a wonderful WoW GM who helped me reset my password and get back into the game. I told him I had stopped playing around the beginning of a relationship with a non-nerd, mostly because there was no internet to play WoW with. Anywho, this GM though it was nice that I was coming back to WoW after leaving it because I was in a relationship with a non-nerd. He gave me a week of free play time and gave me some advice as I came back into the game. I had left pre-Cata, so everything had changed. This was part of the reason I never wanted to go back. On the bright side, my favorite parts are still there. The feeling is still the same. I don’t have to say no anymore. And I couldn’t have come back at a better time. Warlords of Draenor just release. I attended Blizzcon for the first time ever, and now I have to go back next year. I met awesome new people, was exposed to some of my favorite gaming lore, and I can’t wait for next year. I couldn’t be happier on the nerd plane.
The world is realigning itself. I’m moving in a direction of eternal gaming, cosplay and nerd happiness. Now stop reading my blog and go back to playing your video games. Or watching your anime. Or reading your comics/manga. Or just go back to being your awesome self ^_^